Sunday, September 2, 2012

Paedo Tefler Alert!

A couple of years or so back, this blog played a role in blowing the whistle on a well-known Tefl paedo called called James Fraser Darling (still in China, we believe). Well, Sandy has been contacted again recently by a person seeking to find another Tefl pervert, this time a creep who goes by the name of Nigel Russell Harris.

You can read more about this vile slug here:

He was last heard of in Hong Kong, but his current whereabouts is now unknown. He might possibly be in China somewhere, perhaps working for EF, as James Fraser Darling was. Maybe EF are up to their old tricks of providing work for sickos again?!

Please post any information that you might have about this menace as a comment below.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Greetings from Asbury Park?

Well, it's not quite the Asbury Park that I was expecting - and it's nothing like the Asbury Park that Broooooce made famous - but the McManus family's annual caravanning experience is currently under way at the place pictured alongside. Wish you were here?

BTW, I've been far too lazy to publish my annual warning about working on ripoff summer schools, so I'll just refer yous all to my previous apology for a very similar dose of torpor. Now that I'm "down with the pikeys", I seem to have lost all enthusiasm for blogging. Lucky I'm still a dedicated Tefler, though, eh!?

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Outbreak of Activity at Windsor English!

Does anybody remember 'The Windsor Swindler'? I thought not. Well, just when you thought all the slime had dribbled back into the tin, it pops its lid up again! Paul Lowe, I mean. Yeh, that's the old bastard alongside...

Yes, our most favourite Tefl Slug is now firmly back on the Tefl Trail, after a brief but unsuccesful detour into the B&B trade. Paul Lowe has recently advertised on for a few gullible Tefl Twerps to join him at Lowe Mansions, a.k.a. Windsor English, in his defecatory pedagogical ponderings across the Windsor skyline.

However, it seems that Paul's still on 'the medication', as the ad features a few howlers. Can you spot them...?

English Teacher - Windsor English

Location Windsor UK, United Kingdom

Deadline Thursday 18. May 2000

Experience 1 year

Positions 3


English Teachers URGENTLY needed to fit in with a close-knit team of friendly teachers and students. Year-round position to the right person

Qualifications - TEFL Cert.

1 year experince minimum - Dip preferred

Needs to be local to Windsor

Compensation - £17 per hour

Of course, dodgy Paul does not even know what year it is, and fails the basic literacy test by spelling 'experience' wrong! Silly boy, Paul - you only had to copy the word from the form!

And despite apparently advertising for three teachers, he claims there's only ONE permanent position available TO the right person ... rather than FOR the right person. Sadly it appears that all those copywriting skills Paul presumably acquired during his years in the advertising business have been lost.

Anyway, if you fancy availing yourself of Paul's almost generous offer of 17 smackers for each hour of classroom capers - paid (hopefully) in a brown envelope at the end of the week - here's the number to call.
01753 858995
Just tell him that Sandy sent you. I'm sure he'll be delighted!

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Revolutionary Tefler Needed...

Pissed off you missed out on the Spanish Civil War by a few decades? Fancy Syria instead? Well, Inlingua can help you!

Jobs in Syria

inlingua Aleppo offers English Teaching jobs.

The teacher should be native speaker (American or British), reliable ,dynamic and able to teach both Business and General English.

For more information please contact us at:

Yes, I know that there are many Tefl Twerps who went off to teach in Spain after reading Orwell's 'Homage to Catalonia', and then returned home severely disheartened, after learning that the International Brigades had long been abandoned. Well, cheer up, fellahs, there's no reason to sit at home regretting that cruel twist of fate that led to you being born around 60 years too late!

Thanks to the generosity of Inlingua, who proudly claim 'Inlingua - crossing language barriers' as their slogan, you can now also risk crossing the mortality barrier by getting a large hole in your head while shouting 'Allahu Akhbar' or some such religious nonsense. Yes, leave that large red and black anarchist flag at home and dress yourself up in an oversized pair of green curtains. Then launch yourself out on the the dusty streets of Aleppo, between classes of course, and wave a dog-eared copy of Headway Pre-Intermediate at the Syrian Army in a menacing way.

I can guarantee you'll become a martyr almost instantly. Liz and John will be proud of you, and you'll almost definitely get a posthumous mention in the EL Gazette.

And all that time you spent reading 'The Spanish Civil War' will NOT have been in vain!

Monday, February 13, 2012

Taming the bastards with the active voice

There's an article in this month's issue of the EL Gazette that has had me seeing red. I mean, some Tefl twerp called Adam Wilson seems to think he has the right to lecture us Tefl Tradespeople on how to be nice if we want to keep on top of our obnoxious foreign teenagers when trying to teach them a bit of English. Cheek!

For example, look at the following piece of wanky liberal claptrap masquerading as 'classroom management' (or it might be the equally awful and misguided 'student-centred learning'):

"Explain to your students what you are doing - and why"

That's wrong, Adam babes - just plain wrong. No, what you need to tell them is that YOU are the teacher, and they are the fuggin' students, and all they need do is OBEY your orders. There's no point in attempting to explain to them how your carefully-planned activities are fully in accord with Vygotsky's theory of ZPD, as (a) the stupid little bastards will not understand a word, and (b) you've probably screwed it all up or forgotten about poor Lev anyway. And admit it, saying that you're just following what it says in the Teacher's book is probably not going to inspire your evil scrotes one bit, is it?

Poor Adam goes on with his misguided advice by stating that, when faced with intransigent teenagers, "another possible solution is to reward young learners appropriately". I mean, did you notice that pathetic 'young learners' phrase creeping in there? Why not just refer to them as 'snotty-nosed foreign brats', which is exactly what they are?!

And as for the actual prospect of offering the scrotebags rewards as a sort of bribe for behaving well, I say this: they should be bringing in tributes to the teacher, not the other way round. No, mate, you've got it all arse about face, as the balance of power stands tipped firmly in Mr T's favour, innit.

In my experience, a regular thrashing of the worst-behaved students will have the rest of the class fawning over you at the end of the lesson, offering to buy you cups of tea and thrusting chocolate bars in your general direction. This is the way God intended classrooms to be, and I know that for a fact, 'cos a Mormon told me once.

In fact, the only effective tool that the professional Tefler needs to carry everywhere is his voice - the louder, the better. Of course, weapons can be hastily assembled from the usual armoury of board markers, large heavy dictionaries, and sharp pencils, but these should only be employed when the initial blasts of brutal Anglo-Saxon 'Englisc' have failed to tame the mob of dark-skinned inbreds who are your students.

Try walking in to your next lesson screaming "Where is your bloody homework, you slimy little sons of whores?!" and you will notice the difference immediately. And "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" can be surprisingly effective when repeated at great volume, especially at the levels from Beginner to Intermediate.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

The Merennas and the Caparellis...

I'm happy to be back with another story of Tefl crime and corruption, this time from one of our European neighbours. Please keep these stories coming in, dear Tefl spooks, as we need to do out best to protect ourselves from these swindlers, villains, and charlatans!


Bruno Merenna is the prime representative of a country. That sentence also works without the final syllable.

Wanna make a wad of cash at other people’s expense? Bruno, his Daddy Giuseppe Merenna and partner-in-crime (literally) Quirino Caparelli stole a bunch of English materials and founded Worldwide School (Via Salaria 225, Roma). No need to pay the teachers – most of them will be back in the homeland soon, plus Italy’s the most notoriously corrupt country this side of the Third World. And when the injunctions start pouring in, what do you do? Close down and say you never heard of anyone.

Yes, the Merennas have shifted everything to Redford ‘Educational’ Center (Viale Regina Margherita, Roma, tel. 0039-06-0696039211) while Caparelli has a brand new cowboy outfit Michigan Center (Viale Casalina 1769, tel. 0039-06-45541110). Phone Caparelli and he’ll tell you to go to Bruno. Go to Bruno and he’ll deny knowing you, physically assault you and report you to the police for trespassing.

Thank you and God bless.

More info on these shysters and scammers here:

Like many English people in Italy I am struggling to survive in the face of spiralling prices (not salaries of course) and irregular work. Last year I worked for a school 'WorldWide' which never paid me correctly:

The first month's pay arrived 30 days late as I was about to leave for my holiday in England and 'the boss was unavailable' so they made me wait then finally give up and spend my holiday unpaid. On returning I telephoned - no answer - I telephoned the next day - they said come in TOMORROW - then they gave me a cheque (50 Euros too low) to be cashed THE FOLLOWING DAY.

The second month's pay arrived ten days late and 75 Euros too low. The third month (September) I earned 1,900 Euros to be paid on 10 October. I received 1,000 Euros on 25 October and was told the rest would 'arrive shortly'. So I resigned at the end of the month - with September's outstanding pay (900 Euro) plus October's (1200 Euro) unpaid. On 10 November I met Giuseppe Merenna, the CEO of the company in charge ('Project and Consulting Company'), and his son Bruno. Giuseppe said he was fed up with my 'whinging' and I could go on chasing him and he could go on avoiding me - OR he'd make me an offer. Not much of a choice. The offer was a cheque post-dated to 24 November for the 900 Euro; then October's 1200 Euro to follow in 2 instalments (23.12.10, 23.1.11). Clearly I had to accept.

When 24 November arrived I patiently went to the bank to cash the cheque, and to my disgust discovered it was not covered by funds! In a rage I burst into the school and as they saw I was beside myself they paid it in cash from the safe. The remaining two instalments have not arrived and clearly never will. I telephoned Giuseppe and he made excuses; I went to the school where they ignored me, then derided me, and finally said the money would be transferred to my bank account. Of course it wasn't.

Giuseppe has not responded to a letter from my lawyer nor even a judge's injunction - and as he has closed 'Project and Consulting Company' they have nowhere to send the bailiffs. Meanwhile, the school has changed its name (now Redford Center) and when I civilly approached Bruno to enquire his plans, he (a) denied knowing me, (b) threatened to attack me physically, and (c) called the police, telling them I was creating trouble.

The Redford secretary told me to ask for payment from another WorldWide boss, a Quirino Caparelli, who has now founded another school (Michigan): he told me to ask for payment from Redford! When I told him I was prepared to continue legal action, he said, 'Do what the hell you like, I don't care.'

Searching the Internet these people have a long history of fraud and NO ONE STOPS THEM.,



There should be more to follow on this one soon. Watch this space!